At our wedding, which was conducted in an Episcopal church, the ceremony’s wording came from The Book of Common Prayer. Part of that traditional service included the sentence,  “Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; …?“ Simple sentence? Obviously. Familiar? Definitely, as I have heard or seen the sentence since childhood. And, during the ceremony, I promptly answered that question in the affirmative, as all grooms before me have done. What was I interpreting on that common question? Anything of substance? Or was it just a collection of words in a pre-written ceremony?

In truth, the words about love, comfort and honor I understood, but I confess, the words “in sickness and in health” escaped my young mind. What was I envisioning? A cold? The sniffles? Maybe a stomach ache, or a few aspirin tablets? Surely, my bride wouldn’t get really sick, would she? But I digress; as we left the church on that cold, snowy night, the thought of sickness was not on my mind. And would not be for several decades.

But time moves on. Within two months, we had moved to a different state. Within another year, my military commitment forced us apart for 18 months. Within the following year afterwards, our son was born, and I enrolled in a business school to enter a new career. Within the following year, we moved again to a rental home in my wife’s home state, and five years later, we settled in for what would be several happy decades of being together and doing things together.

Then, as the years mounted up, we found that the words about caring during sickness and health had true meaning. We both experienced times of extended inability to interact normally, requiring extensive personal assistance and patience, while the healthier one managed the house, meals, and other necessary tasks alone. Giving one’s full time and support to the other for extended periods requires a commitment to protect the relationship, being more important than other involvement without any expectation or anticipation.

When we think of gestures that convey a love for another person, we tend to envision a gift of flowers, or possibly a dinner invitation, but those gestures pale against the act of caring for another in demonstrating love for a person. Relationships will always have difficulties, and it is the successful relationships that work through them together. As I grow older, the meaning and intent of that promise I made all those years ago continues to sustain me. My life is good. Being in a loving relationship sustains me beyond words. There are issues and priorities in life. And then there is life itself. No meaningful life can be done alone.